Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
