i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
my shit smells like andre
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
