It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
