I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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