smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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