So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
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First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
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Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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