Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
