Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
