Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
