he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
