my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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