Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i believe in u and ur pee
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
