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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  I can't believe you blew on her face.

  (1-662): View more from Mississippi

  I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.

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• (416): View more from Ontario

  she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.

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• (562): View more from California

  you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?

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• (850): View more from Florida

  We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  How did you break your hand eating pizza?

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Boxes are hard to see rocks through.

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• (619): View more from California

  Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.

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• (914): View more from New York

  I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.

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• (473): View more from Grenada-Carib

  She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!

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• (707): View more from California

  By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone

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