At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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