I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
