i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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