everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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