The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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