I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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