Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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