David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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