he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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