I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
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