i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize