did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
