glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
