I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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