He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
