You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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