Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
MIDGETS
????
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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