am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
