u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
