Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
