If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
