How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize