Having a random hookup so left but love u
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
