nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize