I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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