His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
