Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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