Texts From Last Night

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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  So drunk i had to piss sitting down...

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  (803): So drunk i had to piss sitting down... http://tfl.nu/050t
  Replies (7) Good night (1000) Bad night (445)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!

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  (210): this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings! http://tfl.nu/x9r9
  Replies (54) Good night (4572) Bad night (511)
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  (310): View more from California

  Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.

  (310): View more from California

  I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.

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  (310): Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail. (310): I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore. http://tfl.nu/tf34
  Replies (11) Good night (3600) Bad night (901)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.

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  (678): He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went. http://tfl.nu/yfsi
  Replies (38) Good night (5443) Bad night (1304)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain

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  (301): You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain http://tfl.nu/26nd
  Replies (10) Good night (4084) Bad night (1191)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine

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  (512): Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine http://tfl.nu/sllr
  Replies (7) Good night (2165) Bad night (913)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.

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  (917): Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap. http://tfl.nu/690y
  Replies (16) Good night (3595) Bad night (1284)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.

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  (778): I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk. http://tfl.nu/sd2y
  Replies (10) Good night (3390) Bad night (810)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.

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  (810): We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock. http://tfl.nu/wrss
  Replies (14) Good night (3352) Bad night (652)
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  (585): View more from New York

  aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"

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  (585): aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow" http://tfl.nu/ebai
  Replies (4) Good night (1592) Bad night (570)
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  (916): View more from California

  Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.

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  (916): Need. Hospital. Physically am floating. http://tfl.nu/j2sm
  Replies (6) Good night (1086) Bad night (530)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent

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  (330): If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent http://tfl.nu/pu74
  Replies (6) Good night (440) Bad night (1165)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.

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  (519): I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity. http://tfl.nu/v0to
  Replies (13) Good night (892) Bad night (283)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.

  (636): View more from Missouri

  And then audibly agreed

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  (636): I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate. (636): And then audibly agreed http://tfl.nu/3qg2
  Replies (6) Good night (895) Bad night (289)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.

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  (778): Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had. http://tfl.nu/0gqr
  Replies (16) Good night (158) Bad night (644)

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