I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
