Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."