dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
