Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
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Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
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It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night