Texts From Last Night

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  (718): View more from New York

  Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!

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  (718): Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG! http://tfl.nu/4lok
  Replies (63) Good night (7759) Bad night (1303)
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  (626): View more from California

  you didnt know i had herpes?

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  (626): you didnt know i had herpes? http://tfl.nu/e6ph
  Replies (104) Good night (1695) Bad night (38299)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.

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  (801): He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face. http://tfl.nu/vz1o
  Replies (79) Good night (9095) Bad night (3308)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us

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  (225): True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us http://tfl.nu/tf5l
  Replies (4) Good night (3569) Bad night (1351)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off

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  (862): dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off http://tfl.nu/s9m5
  Replies (4) Good night (2699) Bad night (1206)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.

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  (910): I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating. http://tfl.nu/3b9t
  Replies (6) Good night (2632) Bad night (1084)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.

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  (484): He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it. http://tfl.nu/m1ps
  Replies (6) Good night (731) Bad night (1692)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...

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  (405): please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin... http://tfl.nu/m01o
  Replies (2) Good night (676) Bad night (2060)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair

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  (401): She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair http://tfl.nu/x122
  Replies (9) Good night (1158) Bad night (2292)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis

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  (310): I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis http://tfl.nu/97wg
  Replies (22) Good night (2094) Bad night (804)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer

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  (518): I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer http://tfl.nu/dafr
  Replies (18) Good night (2285) Bad night (811)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want

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  (916): I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want http://tfl.nu/luqp
  Replies (7) Good night (1172) Bad night (542)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed

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  (606): You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed http://tfl.nu/ihu1
  Replies (2) Good night (549) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order

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  (954): Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order http://tfl.nu/kxut
  Replies (0) Good night (514) Bad night (443)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?

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  (541): I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had? http://tfl.nu/he5w
  Replies (4) Good night (439) Bad night (331)

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