Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."

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(905): View more from Toronto

I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(505): View more from New Mexico

We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.

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(727): View more from Florida

Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea

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(505): View more from New Mexico

i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.

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(360): View more from Washington

My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!

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