so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
