I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
