i may or may not be watching the land before time
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
