I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
