Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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