break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
