oh god the rape fog is back!
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Two words: blizzard sex
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
