I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
