I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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