I can tuck mytits in my pants
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
How's work?
Spinning.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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