Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
third nipple confirmed
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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