mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i think my tv is drunk
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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