Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize