Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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