Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
