But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
