Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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