she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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