you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize