Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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