I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
