I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
