Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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