I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Pants are for mortals
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
