pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
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We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
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I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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