omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Randomize
